週日下午一個人在家,外頭是滂沱大雨的颱風天,重拾Adam S. Miller的Speculative Grace,一場整週像大病的術後失眠劇痛剛過,從中斷處繼續翻頁展讀,不久便來到21章「Suffering」,風雨對照寧靜,讀起來分外感動,這文字 好像早在此等候出了隧道的我。
為了照顧孩子,我已經錯過了兩次義光的週日禮拜,這個收假前的最後下午,在暗黑的斗室裡點一盞燈閱讀久違的好書,男人一個人的靜思時刻。掩卷之際我體會到,該用感恩的心情善待自己,再低頭些、再彎身些,貼近這煙煙盪盪的塵土世間,走一條註定不由自主的自己的路。
抄一段分享吧,因為缺了脈絡,讀不懂是正常的,即便我,此刻謄寫的也不是文字而是共鳴(原文斜體字改為大寫):
To say that grace unfolds as the exceptionless universality of passibility is to say that grace guarantees the universality of suffering. Moreover, it is to say that the imposition of suffering (classically understood as the problem) and the reception of grace (classically understood as the answer to this problem) are equivocal. As will be seen, both sin and salvation turn on this equivocity.
However, whatever the nature of salvation, suffering, because it names the double-bind of resistant availability constitutive of every object, cannot be expunged. To be IS to suffer and, outside of the classical theism, suffering must characterize both activity and passivity. Available for relation, every object PASSIVELY suffers its passibility to being enlisted, entrained, repurposed, or redistributed by other objects. Moreover, even in ACTIVELY influencing other multiples, each object will suffer the only partially reducible resistance of those objects it meas to influence. And it is important to note that, because every object is composed of other objects, every object (God included) must also suffer ITSELF.
This universality, though, is not simply bad news because suffering is the universal mark of grace. Without exception, grace comes. Suffering it to be so, grace is what enables us to act, think, feel, love and be.
我想說,阿門,願慈悲給人勇氣與力量。
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